Contradictions
by Nini the Electrocuted Sheep
Summary: A series of 100 word drabbles done in pairs, each featuring a contradiction or a contrast. The two drabbles aren’t necessarily connected; just the two words that inspired them. Various pairings, both slash and het.
1. Old x New

Ed often wonders if he'll ever grow old. Not grow _up_ (either figuratively or physically); he's long ago resigned himself to the fact that he's short, and hardly anyone calls him a child anymore. No, Ed wonders if he'll grow _old_. If he'll _live_ to grow old.

Will his hair turn white? Will it fall out? Will he be full of wrinkles and have arthritis? Will his alchemy – this frightens him most of all – will he lose his alchemy as he grows old? Will he lose his memory? Forget everything?

Sometimes Ed thinks it might be better to die young.

* * *

One day when Ed was thirteen, Mustang had advised him to be more respectful. Ed retorted that he'd never learned to respect authority figures. Mustang's reply to that was "You learn something new every day."

Ed took that saying to heart. He may not have learned to respect authority figures, but he did try to learn something new every day. He actually kept a small journal every year – the kind with the date printed on the individual pages, one for each day – and diligently recorded one new thing he learned every day.

He doesn't write anymore, but he's still learning.


	2. Steady x Wobbly

Ed is surprisingly steady with a gun. Roy was rather unnerved to see the young alchemist calmly firing round after round, hitting target after target, his aim almost better than the rest of his team. Riza always oversaw their target practice at the firing range – Roy made sure they practiced at least once every other month – and though she had a few corrections to Ed's stance, there was nothing she could say about the end results. Ed was almost good enough to be a sniper.

Personally, Roy hoped Ed never had reason to discharge a gun outside the firing range.

* * *

Ed is always wobbly after he has adjustments made to his automail. Usually by the time he gets to Rizembool to get a new set made, he's grown just that tiny bit enough to make the leg too short, and adapt to it. Each time he gets a new leg and suddenly he's level, it throws him off.

It takes him several days to get his balance back, and he spends them in the Rockbells' back yard, sparring with Al and getting the feel of his new limbs. Once he regains his confidence, he vows never to be unsteady again.


	3. Flawless x Scarred

Ed never lets anyone take too close a look at his automail. "Professional courtesy," he always says, "you want to study it, you gotta ask permission from the mechanic who made it."

Some people think it's an excuse – that Ed is ashamed of having automail, and doesn't want anyone seeing it. Others think it's just to get people off his back – hardly anyone would go all the way out to Rizembool to ask the Rockbells' permission, and nobody likes to be stared at.

The truth is, Ed believes that he's protecting Winry's trade secrets. Because Ed's automail is absolutely flawless.

* * *

Ed's body is littered with scars. They come from a myriad of occasions, places, actions. The first scars are probably from his early childhood – everybody has scars from falling down as a child.

The most glaring set of scars are around Ed's automail: thin, spidery white lines that stretch across the right side of his chest, and a fine network of them around his left thigh. Other scars come from Ed's many travels and mishaps, in countless countries and two different worlds.

Winry memorizes all these scars, running over them with gentle fingers in the darkened bedroom while Ed sleeps.

* * *

**AN:** please forgive the blantant ripoff of my own KuroFai fic... it just fit so well with Ed that I couldn't resist :)


	4. Life x Death

Al often lives through his brother, though he tries not to let Ed notice. Ed notices – he's much more perceptive than anyone gives him credit for – and always indulges his little brother. If Al suggests they go shopping, then Ed will get a new pair of shoes – but he will walk through the entire street before he stops at the shoe store, so that Al can window-shop. When Al asks Ed if he wouldn't like some ice-cream, then Ed smiles and gets Al's favorite flavor from when they were children.

Ed hopes that soon, Al will taste ice-cream for himself.

* * *

Roy has learned to recognize death. He can almost see it before it strikes, though he is always powerless to stop it. The smells of blood, sweat, burning and rotting bodies – the scent of carnage haunts him every day. He can't even eat a steak without the sizzling aroma making him want to throw up.

Roy knows all the signs of death but can never make it stop in its tracks – nor go back. After Ishbal he tried, considered it... not anymore. Not now he's known Edward. Ed too has known death. Ed has tried to fight it – and lost.


	5. Yes x No

Ed can never refuse his brother anything. Always 'yes'. It's absurd to think that Al is capable of any sort of human expression using the armor – but somehow the glowing orbs that serve as his eyes manage to perform the 'puppy dog eye look' that Al was so good at when he was a child. Their mother never could say 'no', and once she was gone, neither could Ed. Granny Pinako is probably the only one who ever could.

So Ed agrees to just about anything Al wants. It breaks his heart to say 'no'; he already feels guilty enough.

* * *

It's taken Cain Feury a long time to learn to say 'no'. He was a pushover all through school; even in the military he had a tendency to lay low and do as people asked. Usually no-one asked anything truly terrible, so he didn't mind so much.

When Cain was transferred to Colonel Mustang's unit, he began to learn to say 'no'. He learned from Mustang, who found ways to bypass it; he learned from Ed, who scorned it; from Hawkeye who worked through it, and from Havoc, who laughed it off.

He's just glad Havoc isn't laughing _him_ off.


	6. Conductor x Source

When Ed performed his first transmutation, he felt the power coursing through his arms. Since then he thrived on that feeling, knowing that as long as he had it, he was unbeatable in the world of alchemy.

Before he asked for automail, Ed did a few tests. Drawing a transmutation circle on paper with his left hand, he touched it with a bar of the special steel the Rockbells used for their automail.

Alchemic energy raced down through his left arm and though the metal bar smoothly, and the transmutation worked successfully. Ed grinned. Automail would make an _awesome_ conductor.

* * *

Roy Mustang is the source of all of Edward Elric's problems. All the problems in the world. Well, Ed's world.

Ed's world is very small right now. About four square meters of bedroom. Perhaps even less than that – two-or-so square meters of bed. Ed tends to think like this during sex. Though he's of the opinion that anyone held on the verge of orgasm _this fucking long_ would think like this too.

Roy has learned Ed's body in an extraordinarily short time. He plays him like a well-tuned instrument, and takes pride in being the reason of Ed's... well, _problems_.


	7. Platonic x Romantic

Ed never considered Winry as a romantic partner – well, he'd never considered her anything really, besides a good friend and a great automail mechanic. Everyone was so sure they'd end up together, but they both knew it would never work; they were too much alike in pride and stubbornness to ever make it.

Ed and Winry are completely platonic. They'd never kissed, never shared a hug that was beyond friendly, only traded playful banter to get over the awkward intimacy the automail fittings sometimes required.

Ed didn't exactly know what it was he wanted – he just knew it wasn't Winry.

* * *

Ed is a closet romantic, though he'd be mortified if anyone knew. Roy knows, and thinks it's amusing. The great Fullmetal Alchemist, tearing up over flowers and chocolates? Priceless.

Roy indulges Ed's romanticism, and often lets small gestures slip where Ed could notice. He might bring to his office desk a little trinket Ed forgot at his place. He might put a vase of flowers on the bedside table at Ed's side of the bedroom. He might leave cute messages on the fogged-up mirror in the bathroom.

Or he might just throw romance out the window, and kiss Ed senseless.


	8. Kiss x Slap

It was the stupidest thing he'd ever done. How could he have thought she was interested? They'd always been just friends... What on earth has possessed him to grab her like that and kiss her until they were both breathless?

Well, he'd always been a bit stupid.

Ed grinned to himself, his flesh hand lazily carding through Winry's platinum-blond hair. She murmured something in her sleep, her lips kiss-bruised.

Other parts of her were also bruised, Ed noticed with a wince. His automail fingers left five ugly purple bruises on Winry's hip – Ed reminded himself to apologize once she woke.

* * *

The day Riza slapped him was the day Roy learned to keep the sexual banter out of the office. They'd been 'together' for several months – it had taken him almost an entire year to win her over, bit by bit. It was awkward at first; she was his subordinate and his friend, and he was afraid of losing her as both should he try to pursue her.

Perhaps that's the reason he kept teasing her, like a schoolboy expressing his infatuation in childish ways. Being slapped was a change – it showed more emotion in her than the shooting ever had.


	9. Flow x Stuck

The flow of alchemy is so strong in Ed, he sometimes has to deliberately hold back. Having seen the Gate, he gained the ability to create transmutations without needing to draw an array, using his own body to make a circle instead. Ed's trademark alchemy 'move' is to clap his hands together, but circles form unintentionally, too. Every time his hand touches his body, Ed has to consciously keep the alchemy from happening.

When he was younger, he practiced alchemy by the book. But as he grew older, it became more intuitive and instinctual – he just followed the alchemic flow.

* * *

"Shit."

"What is it, Fullmetal?"

"I, uh. Hmm. Shit."

"How very articulate of you."

"Shut up, Colonel Bastard!"

Roy rolled his eyes and moved from behind his desk to approach Ed where he stood by the door, holding something in his right hand. It appeared to be the mangled form of a... doorknob. Upon closer inspection of the door, Roy noticed that it was indeed knobless. He sighed.

"Fullmetal, you have _got_ to start controlling your automail better."

Ed flushed angrily. "I'd like to see you try," he muttered. "So now what?"

Roy grinned evilly. "Guess you're stuck with me."


	10. Early x Late

Ed is an early riser. That's not to say he ever arrives anywhere on time; if anything, Ed is notoriously late. It's just that his morning routine takes a lot of time

The first time Roy witnessed Ed's morning ritual he was rather shocked. Ed showered with boiling-hot water, scrubbing himself as though he were contaminated. Then he did a complete one-eighty: he gently dried, cleaned and oiled his automail limbs, then carefully brushed his hair. Lastly, he painstakingly bound it in its customary braid.

Roy decided not to ask. But every morning, he follows Ed's routine with worried eyes.

* * *

Archer, the son of a bitch, had fortunately only managed to shoot her in the arm. Riza held onto the wound tightly as she ran to the Fuehrer's mansion. She felt a stab of horror when she rounded the hedges and found the large manor engulfed in flames. _Damn it, Roy, have you gotten carried away again?_

Shots fired jolted her out of her thoughts: Archer was already there. She heard a strangled cry – Roy's.

She shot the bastard until he fell, metal and flesh collapsing. She hurried up the stone steps, to Roy, desperately hoping she wasn't too late.


	11. Long x Short

When he finally admitted his feelings for her, she cried. He moved away, reluctant to cause her any further distress. She called out to him as he walked towards the door, her voice sounding odd in his ears. He'd never heard her cry.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Well... you obviously don't want me around –"

"Where did you get that stupid idea?"

"Maybe when you burst into tears the moment I admitted I loved you?" he asked incredulously. "Unless... Riza, do you–?!"

"Oh, Roy, you complete fool. Yes, I love you too. What took you so long?"

* * *

They'd agreed to keep it short. Neither one of them needed anything as complicated or as time-consuming as a relationship at that point in their lives. Certainly Ed wasn't ready for an emotional attachment.

So, nothing lasting. It's just... a release of tension, for the both of them. Ed is young, and often wound tight by the strenuous life he leads. Roy helps him to... unwind. And relax. And sleep without the nightmares.

They'd agreed to keep it short. But it didn't stop them from hoping the wait would be short, too, while Ed worked towards restoring his brother's body.


	12. Fact x Fiction

Ed is forever chasing the truth. The facts. The proof that he is doing the right thing. Well, maybe not the absolutely righteous thing for all mankind, but at least the right thing for his brother and himself. It's always been this way.

But for once, Ed doesn't want to trust the fact. Because the facts say that he shouldn't be attracted to Roy. Realistically, no good can come of it. They'd both be court-martialed if they were caught – and they would never work out anyway. They're too different from one another.

Well, opposites attract, don't they? It's a fact.

* * *

Ever since he discovered alchemy as a child, Edward hasn't read a single fiction book. It's always been alchemic texts, coupled with various other sciences – biology, chemistry, physics, astronomy. Sometimes even cooking.

When they were young their mother would read him and Al bedtime stories. Ed can't recall a single one now. His memory is exceptional – at least, when it comes to remembering important things about alchemy. When it comes to personal things, Ed's mind has the disconcerting tendency to go rather blank. Birthdays, favorite colors, even people's names.

But most disturbing of all – Ed can't remember their mother's voice.


End file.
